One of the best goals you are likely to see

What a goal this is.  It is injury time in this All Japan High School Soccer tournament.  The Kobe number eleven lurks at the back post as his teammates hustle to get the ball into a crossable position.  As the ball comes in he back pedals before launching himself backwards.  At the last he twists his body and swings his left foot around to meet the ball and send it crashing into the far corner of the net.  Not only does it win the game for his team but completes his hat trick.

A simply magnificent goal.

The Great Happiness Space – Tales Of An Osaka Love Thief

This is the opening to an excellent documentary, The Great Happiness Space – Tales Of An Osaka Love Thief, by Jake Clennell.

I place it here to give some context to my previous post.

Hopefully it will shed some light on the dark world of the host.  Try and watch this film in its entirety and from a legitimate source.  It deserves it and you won’t regret your decision.

Illuminating and thought provoking, this is a powerful examination of a side of Japanese culture that is rarely acknowledged.

Lessons in Love and Business

It is 8pm on one of the last warm Friday nights of the year.  Kyobashi station is busy.  Commuters hurry this way and that.  While some are eager to get home many more head off into the myriad of bar lined side streets to loosen their ties.  This area is one of the busiest transport intersections in Japan and also one of its most notorious nightspots.

Standing tall and calm amongst the chaos between the train and subway station, 20 year old Toshi is just beginning work.  Dressed in a tight fitting suit, pointy buckle covered cowboy boots, beneath a prism of savagely styled hair, his languid air seems at odds with the bedlam surrounding him.  Suddenly he springs into action.  He approaches a group of young women and within seconds has lead them down a side street.  He returns a little while later with a smile on his face.

“It’s all about knowing what to say,” he says.  “We know why they come here so we just have to get them to come to our place.  They pay their money and we make sure they have a good time.”  Toshi is a host.  His job is to get women to come to his club.  Once inside Toshi and his co-workers will wine, dine and entertain their clients.  The aim is to keep them aroused for as long as possible, and the drinks flowing.

A trip to a host club is not cheap.  Drinks come in at 10 or 20 times there regular price.  And yet the women keep on coming.  Toshi is just a junior in this industry where top earners have their pictures adorning the sides of tall buildings and can expect salaries of a similar scale.  Even for a beginner the rewards are great.  In Japan, where part-time hourly wages average ¥1,000, a novice host can expect to clear ¥20,000 a night.  But for Toshi this is strictly a part time pursuit.

“I’m a university student,” he explains.  “For me this is all about the money.”  As we talk his eyes are constantly scanning the crowd.  His role is not only to find customers but also recruit potential hostesses to work at his club’s sister establishment.  He is not the only host here tonight.  I can spot at least five other “scouts” as they are known, prowling the sea of commuters like sharks.  They are out early.  Business in the commuting hours is slim.

But tonight is Friday and as the night gets darker the percentage of commuters in the crowd begins to thin.  More travelers arrive looking to journey into the night.  This is the hosts’ rush hour.  Competition is fierce – any passing women are pounced on and seduced.  But tonight very few seem to be taking the bait.

After several unsuccessful attempts Toshi leads one group of sparkly dressed women away, complimenting them on their hair and clothes.  They seem familiar.  “We do have regulars,” he tells me.  “They like us and we do our best to make sure they always have fun at our club.”  He departs to continue his work at the club where he will work long into the next morning.

In the club the host is a seller of dreams.  All the while charming, amusing and attentive his main task is to get the women to stay for as long as possible.  Unpaid overtime is a prerequisite.  Toshi is in steady textual relationships with many of his customers, continuing the flirting throughout the week.

For Toshi though, this remains nothing more than a means to pay his way through university.  “I am a business student,” he tells me on a sunny morning on one of Japan’s foremost university campuses.  “It’s simple economics.  I can make more doing this than any other job . . . and I enjoy it,” he smiles. “I have a girlfriend.  I sometimes text my customers and accept gifts from them, but nothing more.”

Stories about hosts getting customers pregnant or causing marital strife abound, but Toshi maintains that the relationship in reality is more illusory.  “We are there to provide escapism.  Customers can dream with us.  We are not supposed to touch but relieve stress in other ways – being good company, charming, handsome and funny.  I have heard of that stuff [pregnancy] happening but only outside of work.”

He excuses himself and heads off to a lecture.  As he departs he says, “My dream is to be an international businessman.”  Today he is dressed quite conservatively, only his shoes look expensive.  The shark blends easily into the crowd.

* Toshi is not Toshi’s real name.

Host and hostess clubs belong in that murky grey area between the licit and illicit market sectors.  Club ownership, criminal involvement, police duplicity and customer satisfaction have all come under close examination recently.  Tokyo police raided several high profile clubs last year but, some show arrests aside, little seems to have changed.

Chairman in the rain

This is the president of Urawa Reds, Mitsuo Hashimoto, addressing the teams supporters after the last game of the season.

The Reds are the best supported club in the J.League.  Much like Manchester United, the team on which they are modelled, they draw support from across their homeland. By Japanese standards they are vociferous.  Last year they were involved in the J.League’s worst incidence of crowd trouble in its 16 year history.

This season was one of disappointment for the Reds.  They finished in 6th place, 14 points behind champions Kashima Antlers.  Rumours of dressing room unrest abound and the close season is likely to witness major changes at the club.

Talismanic central defender Tulio Tanaka is out of contract and has been linked with several foreign clubs, including Premier League Wigan Athletic.  Tulio earlier in the season criticised the clubs recruitment policy.  Blaming the teams poor form on a lack of experienced players.

Hashimoto will be a busy man over the coming months.  His first task will be to dry his suit.

The Flower That Blooms But Once A Year

The note reads something like; “This is the flower that only blooms once a year.  Please enjoy.”

It and the flower were placed there by my landlord, I think.

What flower it is I couldn’t tell you but it looks pretty I hope you’ll agree.

Something Wicked This Way Comes: 2

A typhoon is scheduled to hit Osaka tomorrow.  I have just got in from the supermarket and it is absolutely pissing it down.  The type of rain they put on meditation CD’s.  It sounds nice but is cold and relentless.

Despite every precaution, a trench coat on top of a rain jacket, the four minute roundtrip has still left me wet.  I am not sure of the difference between a typhoon and a hurricane.  Something which until global warming spiced things up had something to do with hemisphere’s and water pressure, I think.

What I can tell you for fact is that it is very wet outside now.  Tomorrow is also the day that my school was to hold its sport festival.  This has now been put back to Friday.  I teach at a joint junior and senior high school.  The high school third years were to have performed a dance in traditional Japanese costume.  Howling winds and chilling rains would not be the ideal weather conditions for such a performance.

A sandy playing field would not be my location of choice in typhoon time.  The winds and rain can be lethal in some extreme cases.  Sadly every year yields a few deaths from natural disasters in Japan.  I hope this one passes without incident.

Mayonnaise is Toilet Paper

I want you to think about a phrase and tell me what you think it means.

“Mayonnaise is toilet paper.”

An interesting statement, with a pleasing phonetic roll, it contains little inherent meaning to the native English speaker.  Utter these words to a class of Japanese ten year olds and there is every chance that they would think you are introducing yourself, and that your name is Toilet Paper.

I was teaching an elementary school class in the Japanese countryside when one of the more rowdy and rotund boys in the class told me in Japanese that he could speak English.  I feigned surprise and asked him to demonstrate.  Within an almost maniacal look of glee on his face he spouted forth:

“Mayonnaise is toilet paper,

Mayonnaise is toilet paper,

Mayonnaise is toilet paper . . .”

I creased up and the rest of the class roared with laughter.  This was gibberish of the highest order and as such deserved to be congratulated.  I told the class that he could indeed speak English and that he was very clever.

To the ears of young Japan “My name is” sounds not dissimilar to a popular egg based white sauce.  They should not be reprimanded for this.  In Japan mayonnaise is known by its Western name but pronounced something like “my-yo-nay-zoo.”  ‘My name is . . .’ when spoken in a Japanese accent sounds a little like “my-e-nay-mu-is-zoo” to the ten year old wag it is a simple, yet irresistible, leap to mistake the two.

Phonetics is one of the hardest things about teaching English in Japan.  The strict way the Japanese language is ordered means that even advanced linguists often ignore foreign sounds and syllables.  Trying to get Japanese students of English to move outside of the regimented boundaries of their own language is a big challenge facing teachers on these shores.  Start the process too early and you risk alienating the next generation, too late and the fault lines will be permanently engraved.

Any language can sound strange through the ears of another.  I was having lunch with a Japanese colleague back when I worked for a large American clothing company in London.  He was telling me about his trip to the US.  I mentioned that I had an uncle in LA at which point he almost choked on his Marks and Spencer’s sandwich.  In a London accent, “My uncle,” sounds a lot like the rudest Japanese word for a woman’s belle chose – “manko.”

We became good friends and I now live in Japan.  Language is a powerful tool.  Even when misused it can have dramatic effects and repercussions.  And cause great amusement.

Honda Keisuke: The Future of Japanese Football

This is Honda Keisuke.  He is a 23 year old Japanese footballer who plays for VVV-Venlo in Holland.

He has been in blazing hot form this summer leading to a string of transfer rumours.  Liverpool are just one of the clubs to be linked to him in recent weeks.

Such has been his impact this season that VVV will be happy for the transfer window to close without losing their captain.

It looks like being a very good season for Honda.  A star very much on the rise and with a World Cup next year who knows just how bright his light will shine.

Fred Piquionne

This is who Portsmouth’s hopes for survival in the forthcoming Premier League season rest.

Zut alors.

The Return . . .

Well . . . yes, and here we go again . . .

So, I’m back.  From where . . . you might well ask.  Lets just call it “another place.”  Dark like midnight, it is not always better to follow the money.  But then you don’t need me to tell you that.

Where I’ve been.  What I’ve done.  The weather.  My dinner.  All will be revealed in due course.

For now though let me just say that despite losing 4kg since I last wrote here, I am well and will be returning back here soon.

Stay tuned but just don’t hold your breath.